Self/Buddy Writing Evaluation

Last week’s task for writing was to get our writing sample and edit it with a partner, I worked with Jack and we both marked ours and each other’s writing samples. I liked marking my work because I showed me what I needed to work on and what I was doing well with. I think I do well with organising my paragraphs, structuring my sentences, finding interesting ideas and experimenting with different punctuation. Since the topic for the writing test was Caring For Planet Earth and everyone else chose to write their samples on plastic or plastic bags I chose to write mine on Greenhouse Gases. The different grades we could get are R1 to R6 or R7 for different writing features.

	Punctuation	Vocab	Organisation	Sentence Structure	Structure and Language	Ideas
Self	R5 - R6	R5	R6	R5	R5	R5-R6
Buddy	R5 - R6	R5	R6	R5	R5	R6

I think I did well with organisation, sentence structure, ideas and punctuation because I don’t usually use much punctuation aside from full stops, commas, question marks and exclamation marks. I think I did well with the sentence structure because I made sure to use simple, compound and complex sentences. I used an original idea because while everyone else wrote their explanations on plastic or plastic bags, I wrote mine on greenhouse gases since the topic was pollution. I think I need to improve on vocab and structure and language because I’m not that good at painting a clear picture nor linking my paragraphs well.

Punctuation: Alex is capable of strengthening his punctuation types used. Although he can use different punctuation types in his writing

Caring For Planet Earth

What is a greenhouse gas? Greenhouse gases are gases that are and can slowly
destroy our ozone layer, when it’s worn away we’ll be defenceless from the sun.
Two major greenhouse gases are methane and carbon dioxide.

Things that make greenhouse gases aren’t only buildings, cows do too! Imagine
that, one day the earth becomes completely uninhabitable- because of cow poop!
Even then, the main contributors to greenhouse gases aren’t cows or animals, the
species that makes the most is... us. You might think it’s because we make so
many factories but no, when we breathe in oxygen and breathe out again we
release carbon dioxide which is 81% of the world’s greenhouse gas.

One way to stop making as much greenhouse gas is to lower the amount of
factories (It’s not like we could ask everyone in the world to stop breathing).
Another is to lower the amount of livestock in the world, because one day, due
to overpopulation, they might be even bigger contributors than us!

The ozone layer being destroyed might not sound like much, since it’s not a
huge problem yet. But the ozone layer shields us from the sun, and if the ozone
layer is destroyed the ice in Antarctica will melt so the sea levels will rise due
to there being a huge influx of water. If sea levels rise the land will sink, since
we need land to survive we’ll suddenly be slowly pushed together and fights
between neighboring and foreign countries will break out.

Although the ozone layer is healing, who’s to say that it won’t be permanently
damaged in ten years? Pollution will always be around, so try to make it as small
as possible.